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Adventures of Landric...Former Campus Cop
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Landric's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, December 25th, 2008
9:30 pm
A Crackhead Christmas
In honor of my having to work Christmas Eve and Day:

The Twelve Days of Crackmess

12 months probation
11 pipers huffin'
10 counts of larceny
9 plastic baggies
8 bogus names
7 pit bull puppies
6 packs of Newport's
5 golden teeth
4 kids on welfare
3 stolen steaks
2 crack pipes
And a trip to the county jail.
Friday, December 5th, 2008
5:54 pm
Three Rifles

Three Rifles That Made History Compared Side By Side
(you won't see this on History Channel's special History Of The Gun)

(AK) It works though you have never cleaned it. Ever.
(AR) You have $9 per ounce special non-detergent synthetic Teflon infused oil for cleaning.
(Mosin Nagant) It was last cleaned in Berlin in 1945.


(AK)You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from inside.
(AR)You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from 600 meters.
(Mosin Nagant)You can hit the farm from two counties over.


(AK)Cheap mags are fun to buy.
(AR)Cheap mags melt.
(Mosin Nagant)What's a mag?


(AK)Your safety can be heard from 300 meters away.
(AR)You can silently flip off the safety with your finger on the trigger.
(Mosin Nagant)What's a safety?


(AK)Your rifle comes with a cheap nylon sling.
(AR)Your rifle has a 9 point stealth tactical suspension system.
(Mosin Nagant)You rifle has dog collars.


(AK)Your bayonet makes a good wire cutter.
(AR)Your bayonet is actually a pretty good steak knife.
(Mosin Nagant)Your bayonet is longer than your leg.


(AK)You can put a .30" hole through 12" of oak, if you can hit it.
(AR)You can put one hole in a paper target at 100 meters with 30 rounds.
(Mosin Nagant)You can knock down everyone else's target with the shock wave of your bullet going downrange.


(AK)When out of ammo your rifle will nominally pass as a club.
(AR)When out of ammo, your rifle makes a great wiffle bat.
(Mosin Nagant)When out of ammo, your rifle makes a supreme war club, pike, boat oar, tent pole, or firewood.


(AK)Recoil is manageable, even fun.
(AR)What's recoil?
(Mosin Nagant)Recoil is often used to relocated shoulders thrown out by the previous shot.


(AK)Your sight adjustment goes to "10", and you've never bothered moving it.
(AR)Your sight adjustment is incremented in fractions of minute of angle.
(Mosin Nagant)Your sight adjustment goes to 12 miles and you've actually tried it.


(AK)Your rifle can be used by any two bit nation's most illiterate conscripts to fight elite forces worldwide.
(AR)Your rifle is used by elite forces worldwide to fight two bit nations' most illiterate conscripts.
(Mosin Nagant)Your rifle has fought against itself and won every time.


(AK)Your rifle won some revolutions.
(AR)Your rifle won the Cold War.
(Mosin Nagant)Your rifle won a pole vault event.


(AK)You paid $350.
(AR)You paid $900.
(Mosin Nagant)You paid $59.95.


(AK)You buy cheap ammo by the case.
(AR)You lovingly reload precision crafted rounds one by one.
(Mosin Nagant)You dig your ammo out of a farmer's field in Ukraine and it works just fine.


(AK)You can intimidate your foe with the bayonet mounted.
(AR)You foes laugh when you mount your bayonet.
(Mosin Nagant)You can bayonet your foe on the other side of the river without leaving the comfort of your hole.


(AK)Service life, 50 years.
(AR)Service life, 40 years.
(Mosin Nagant)Service life, 100 years, and counting.


(AK)It's easier to buy a new rifle when you want to change cartridge sizes.
(AR)You can change cartridge sizes with the push of a couple of pins and a new upper.
(Mosin Nagant)You believe no real man would dare risk the ridicule of his friends by suggesting there is anything but 7.62x54r.


(AK)You can repair your rifle with a big hammer and a swift kick.
(AR)You can repair your rifle by taking it to a certified gunsmith, it's under warranty!
(Mosin Nagant)If your rifle breaks, you buy a new one.


(AK)You consider it a badge of honor when you get your handguards to burst into flames.
(AR)You consider it a badge of honor when you shoot a sub-MOA 5 shot group.
(Mosin Nagant)You consider it a badge of honor when you cycle 5 rounds without the aid of a 2x4.


(AK)After a long day the range you relax by watching "Red Dawn".
(AR)After a long day at the range you relax by watching "Blackhawk Down".
(Mosin Nagant)After a long day at the range you relax by visiting the chiropractor.


(AK)After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for a stiff shot of Vodka.
(AR)After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for hotdogs and apple pie.
(Mosin Nagant)After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for shishkabob.


(AK)You can accessorize you rifle with a new muzzle brake or a nice stock set.
(AR)Your rifle's accessories are eight times more valuable than your rifle.
(Mosin Nagant)Your rifle's accessory is a small tin can with a funny lid, but it's buried under an apartment building somewhere in Budapest.


(AK)Your rifle's finish is varnish and paint.
(AR)Your rifle's finish is Teflon and high tech polymers.
(Mosin Nagant)Your rifle's finish is low grade shellac, cosmoline and Olga's toe nails.


(AK)Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Mikhail Kalashnikov.
(AR)Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Eugene Stoner.
(Mosin Nagant)You're not sure there WERE cameras to photograph Sergei Mosin.


(AK)Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to hold your rifle over your head and shout "Wolverines!"
(AR)Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to clear your house, slicing the pie from room to room.
(Mosin Nagant)Late at night, you sometimes have to fight the urge to dig a fighting trench in the the yard to sleep in.


There you have it. In the end, it is clear to any open minded inquirer that the Mosin Nagant is the most superior weapon of all time, but the AR and the AK come out as a draw when compared side by side.
Sunday, June 24th, 2007
11:08 pm
Not mine, but very true:


We need no-tolerance policy on no-tolerance nonsense
June 22, 2007 12:35 am

How many times have I heard this statement?

"We have a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to that issue!"

Zero tolerance! Boy! Does that sound impressive! And, oh, so tough!

Zero tolerance came to the forefront again this week when an elementary school forced children to cut the weapons off miniature soldiers that were being displayed during a military-appreciation celebration.

In schools, zero-tolerance policies long ago passed through the realm of common sense and into that of the utterly ridiculous.

Students have been expelled for bringing plastic knives and other innocent objects to school, all in the name of "our zero-tolerance policy."

You would think that a teacher or school administrator would have brains enough to figure out that a plastic knife used to spread butter on bread at lunch is not a weapon.

I guess not. Maybe a teaching certification doesn't cover that.

So, some innocent little kid is frightened half to death and treated like a criminal because he didn't understand that a plastic knife, a utensil he might well be given to eat with at Bible school or a birthday party, turns into a dangerous weapon when carried into a public school.

Oh, but we have a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to weapons!

You know what a zero-tolerance policy really is? It is a "covering-my-butt" policy and covering one's butt has become America's national pastime.

Nobody wants to take responsibility anymore and even if someone did, the higher-ups wouldn't allow them to do so. Just go with a zero-tolerance policy and don't worry about it.

As for common sense, hey, that vanished a long time ago.

If it's a plastic knife it must be a weapon because the word knife is involved.

How ridiculous! I can't believe that grown people with college educations could make such a statement. But they do.

When school administrators talk about their zero tolerance for violence and weapons on school grounds they are doing nothing more than blowing smoke.

You can beat someone's brains out with an aluminum baseball bat or kill by throwing a baseball at someone's head. Do schools prohibit baseballs and bats under their sacred zero-tolerance policies?

A high-school girl could remove her thong and easily strangle somebody with it. Are thongs dangerous weapons that call for expulsion under the zero-tolerance policy? And who is going to check high school girls for these hidden weapons?

When you come right down to it, you can put someone's eye out with a toothpick or maim a student by slamming his head against a classroom wall. Are toothpicks and walls covered under the zero-tolerance policy?

As for violence, well, when they take football out of schools they can start talking about their zero-tolerance policy against violence.

I wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard a football coach scream, "If you don't hurt that guy on the other side of the line your butt is going to be sitting on the bench Friday night!"

Oh, but that's different! That's controlled violence. Yeah? Well, so is war!

We give students baseball bats but we expel them for bringing plastic knives to the lunch table. We make junior ROTC classes part of school curriculum yet we force kids to cut the guns off their toy soldiers on military appreciation day.

Man! That makes a lot of sense!

I once sat quietly and listened to a pompous school official boast of his firm belief in the zero-tolerance policy.

When his speech was finished I went up to the guy and said, "You know, I've only known three groups that really had a zero-tolerance policy--the Nazis, the communists and the Ku Klux Klan. To which of those groups do you belong?"

He put down his plastic knife.
Friday, December 1st, 2006
3:28 pm
C ontainment
A rea for
R elocating
Y ankees

Couldn't be more true...
Tuesday, November 21st, 2006
11:17 am
Tuesday, August 29th, 2006
10:00 am
“Heaven is where the police are English, the cooks are French,
the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian
and everything is organized by the Swiss.

Hell is where the police are German, the cooks are English,
the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss,
and everything is organized by the Italians."
Thursday, April 13th, 2006
10:09 am
I got this in an e-mail...remember this stuff folks, it wasn't long ago
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning . . . uphill BOTH ways .. .
. through year 'round blizzards. Carrying their younger siblings on their backs . . . to their one-room schoolhouse, where they maintained a Straight-A average, despite their full- time, after-school job at the local textile mill . .. . where they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death!

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter . . . with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and mess it all up!

And talk of about hardships? You couldn't just download porn...you had to steal it from your brother or bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11! Those were your options!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, a collections agent - you just didn't know!!!
You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the graphics stunk! Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died-just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little brats!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire. Imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot. That's exactly what I'm talking about!

You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled.

You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!!!!!
Friday, November 11th, 2005
9:04 am
Bad News at the PD...
I worked with this guy when I was on second platoon. Really nice guy, and very excited about doing the job...

At approximately 11:24PM last night, Officer Courtney Dickerson was involved in an on duty vehicle accident on Halifax Road.

At 11:20PM, Officer Dickerson cleared from a domestic call on Robinhood Court, and was headed west on Halifax Road to answer an alarm call on Piney Forest Road. While navigating a turn on Halifax Road near Pleasant View Baptist Church, Officer Dickerson’s Police cruiser flipped, and he was ejected from the vehicle. Another Police Officer was traveling the same direction, but not directly behind Officer Dickerson’s cruiser came upon the accident and called for medical assistance. Officer Dickerson was transported to the Danville Regional Medical Center by the Danville Life Saving Crew where he was pronounced dead just after midnight.

The Danville Police Department requested that the Virginia State Police work the accident to investigate the details.

Officer Dickerson was 24 years old, and had been with the Department for over a year. Officer Dickerson is survived by his wife and 3 year old son. He was well liked by his peers, and the citizens of Danville.

Officer Dickerson’s family, members of the Danville Police Department, and the community are grieving his death. We ask for your patience and understanding during this difficult time.
Friday, September 2nd, 2005
9:55 am
To: All Law Enforcement Agencies
From: Madison County Sheriff Communications Canton, MS
Sub: Hurricane Relief

We received a call from Hancock County Sheriff Steve Garber this date requesting any and all assistance with clothing for his deputies. The only clothes these men and women have is what they were wearing when Katrina hit Monday. Their needs are basis, including underwear, boots, socks, t-shirts, pants and toiletries. The sizes we were given range from 34-46 waist and SM-XXX shirts. These items are desperately and immediately needed. Any donations can be sent to the following address:

Madison County Sheriff's Office
Attn: Sheriff Toby Trowbridge Jr
2941 Hwy 51 South
Canton, MS 39046

If you have any questions, feel free to contact our agency at (601)859-2345. Thanks in advance.
Friday, June 17th, 2005
8:10 pm
Today was a good day at work. Mostly because I spent it all on the range and got to leave an hour early. I got qualified with my duty weapon and my off-duty/backup weapons. Somehow I managed to shoot a better score with my 2" Airlite .38 than I did with the 9mm HK. Go figure.

After I qualified I ran the rest of my co-workers through the course. Everyone managed to qualify, and we got some other off-duty/backup weapons done also. The plan is to go again Sunday and get the rest of the personally owned stuff done.

We also got to play around with a balistic shield. It is pretty strange shooting around a shield and looking through the window to use the sights. The shield is rated to stop a .308, but I don't think I'd want to be the test dummy behind it. Of course, if someone is shooting at me with a rifle, I'd rather have the shield than not, so I guess it makes some sense. Anyway, they are putting them in a couple of the patrol cars, so a co-worker and I took it upon ourselves to let everyone practice shooting with the shield since we were at the range anyway.

All in all, a good time. Still two more day shifts to go though, yuck...
Thursday, March 10th, 2005
7:58 pm
HEADLINE: Michael Jackson trial gets weirder

My question, how is that possible?

Oh well, I guess it gives the "journalists" something to do...
Monday, February 14th, 2005
12:33 pm



LJ friendsCollage.

Brought to you by pratibha75 and teemus.
Thursday, December 23rd, 2004
7:41 am
Think Black Sabbath and Iron Man...
I am Santa Claus

Ho ho ho ho ho

Flying Through the snow
Can you hear him ho ho ho
He's so full of cheer
only has to work one day a year

Children in their beds
Visions of sugar plums fill their heads
So many kids out there
Santa must be a billionare

Red suit, boots of black
Big sack of toys hanging off his back
How much does he weigh
How do the reindeer pull his sleigh

Nobody sees him
as he travels the world

Leaving his presents
for the good boys and girls

Ho ho ho ho ho

Sees every move you make
Better be good for goodness sake
Leave him cookies and beer
He'll be back to your house first next year

I am Santa Claus

Ho ho ho ho ho
7:41 am
Sing it Ted...
Teddy the red-nosed senator
Had a very shiny car
And if you ever saw it
You were probably at a bar.
All of the other senators
Wondered how he got his dames
They thought he drank too many
To play in any bedroom games.

Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
Santa came to say:
"Teddy with your nose so red,
Won't you help me guide my sled?"
That's how the police found them
Wrapped around a maple tree
Teddy the red-nosed senator
He's a drunken S.O.B.
Monday, November 15th, 2004
1:32 pm
IDPA Matches
Well, the matches went pretty well. Between Thursday afternoon and Sunday afternoon I managed to shoot four matches. Chesapeake, Danville, Raleigh, and Oxford. I think I already posted the results of the Chesapeake match, so here is how I did on the others:

Danville (shot from duty gear with Glock 22):

-4th Place overall out of 31 shooters
-2nd Place in the SSP/Sharpshooter division/classification
-On a total of six stages, I was 11 points down
-There was also a contest for "High Overall Law Enforcement Officer", which I won.

Raleigh (Shot from concealment with HK USP9 Compact):

-2nd Place in the SSP/Unclassified division/classification
-On four stages, I was a total of 5 points down

I won't know other results from Raleigh until they post the match results on the website.

Oxford (shot from duty gear with Glock 22):

-2nd Place in the SSP/Marksman division/classification
-26th out of 54 shooters overall
-Here is the best part for me, I was 8th overall on points down. I was down 13 points total on six stages, and I was down 5 on one stage because I miscounted rounds and didn't fire a round I should have, which was an easy three yard straight on shot. I would have been down zero on if I had fired it, because I know I would have hit the 5 point area. I think that would have put me in second place for points down. Too bad I didn't fire it. Basically what that means is that I was far from the fastest, but I was the eighth most accurate out of 54 shooters. I'm happy with that.

I got to meet smjayman, but we were on different squads so I didn't get to shoot with him. Too bad, maybe next time Jay.

Tonight it is back to Chapel Hill for work tomorrow.
Thursday, November 4th, 2004
4:55 pm

You Are a Capitalist Republican

Money makes your world go round - and it's no surprise that you always vote your wallet.

You're financially successful (or plan to be), and your agenda is low tax and pro business.

You don't get fired up about abortion... but mention capital gains tax, and you go crazy.

You want government to be as small as possible - and to stay out of the way of business.

6:09 am
Boy am I stupid.

I am working at the hospital today. I got in late last night from Danville and went to bed pretty much right away. I set my alarm for 0600 as usual.

I got up, showered, brushed teeth, got dressed, etc. Went out to my car and discovered that it was 0545. Yep, I forgot to set my alarm back an hour. I was in NC when the time changed and last night was my first night back since. I didn't even look at the time when I flipped it on. So, I missed out on an hour of much needed sleep. Sigh...
Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
11:19 pm
What's wrong John, why the long face? :-)
Tuesday, October 26th, 2004
8:38 pm
This really sucks...
My former PD, and I know all the folks involved. At least Andy got some back for Ingo...

Slain police dog's final act detailed

By Reed Williams / Daily Progress staff writer
October 26, 2004


Even after Officer Andy Gluba’s canine was shot through the spine and partially paralyzed, it continued to struggle toward the gunman during a shootout Sunday in Albemarle County, police said.

“He was a hero,” Capt. Crystal Limerick said of the police dog, Ingo. “He saved Officer Gluba’s life.”

The early morning gunfight left burglary suspect Robert Lee Cooke in critical condition and Ingo dead.

Cooke, 30, of Chesterfield, remained in intensive care Monday at the University of Virginia Medical Center, according to the Virginia State Police. He was charged with two felonies: shooting a police dog and possession of a firearm as a convicted felon.

Gluba is on paid administrative leave, and state police are investigating the shooting.

Sunday’s incident began with a burglary call to a two-story duplex at 1074 Reservoir Road.

Anthony Farish, who lives on the first floor of the wooden house, said he heard someone upstairs at about 1:30 a.m. He said he called 911 because the man who lived upstairs was moving out and no longer staying there.

“There’s someone up there and there shouldn’t be,” Farish recalled thinking. “So I called the cops.”

Farish turned on the front porch light and saw a police car arrive a few minutes later. He said he saw a man walking down the gravel driveway toward Reservoir Road and heard a police officer shout, “Get down. … Freeze.”

He said the officer then chased the man toward Fontaine Avenue, and he heard a single gunshot shortly afterward.

Limerick said Gluba was using Ingo to track the fugitive when the officer came under fire. Gluba released Ingo, and the German shepherd charged the gunman, the captain said.

Ultimately, the dog was shot in the back with a large-caliber bullet and its rear legs were paralyzed.

“He continued to bark and he tried to pull himself with his front legs to continue to move at the guy,” Limerick said.

The dog died within two hours.

State police Sgt. David Cooper declined to say how many shots were fired or discuss the details of the incident, except to confirm that Gluba and the gunman exchanged gunfire.

Gluba could not be reached for comment.

Albemarle County police are investigating the burglary. They said the second floor of the duplex had been ransacked and it was unclear what, if anything, was stolen.

“We’re still working on that aspect of it,” Sgt. James Bond said. “It looks like the place had been gone through.”

The man who had been living on the second floor declined to comment Monday.

Meanwhile, the county police plan to hold a memorial service for Ingo, though no date has been set.

Contact Reed Williams at (434) 978-7263 or fwilliams@dailyprogress.com
Thursday, October 7th, 2004
12:36 am
Jayman, it looks like I will be able to make it to at least one day of the three matches/two days event in December. I'm hoping to make the night match and one of the day matches. I am going to try to get enough time to make all three, but that is totally dependant on any comp time I might get between now and then...
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